Own Worst Enemy
by Mandy pwns you
Summary: She hurts. He hurts her. She hurts Harry. Harry loves her. He loves her. She hates herself.
1. The voice

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Own Worst Enemy

By: Amanda Lupin

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Summary: She hurts. He hurts her. She hurts Harry. Harry loves her. He loves her. She hates herself.

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Disclaimer: I don't own it. The only thing I own is my computer. No wait... I don't even own it. I'm pretty sure I own the plot, but it might be from other stories, so feel free to steal my plot. I've got no problem with it J 

What could it hurt?

Tracing... tracing a line across my wrist. The quill's not as sharp as I thought. I have to push harder than I thought. But it feels better than I thought. It's not painful. Not yet, not now. It seems to set me free. From... him.

I can't eat. I can't sleep. Whatever I do, he's there. I can feel him. He's here now. And what hurts me even more is I'm getting used to it. Its comforting almost. He's here with me now, screaming in my soul., telling me to stop. But I don't listen. He can't stop me now.

I pull my robes down and walk slowly to the bathroom to wash off my arm. It hurts now, but I don't mind. Its not as bad as some of the things he... he made me do. I shuddered thinking of the chamber, the things he made me do. It seems as if that was a long, long time ago. But it's not. I've just changed so much.

As I walk into the common room, Harry smiles and waves for me to come sit next to him. I frown, but sit next to him, and I feel his hand creep up on my knee. I wince a bit and push him away. He gives me a look, but he's used to it.

He talks to Ron and Hermoine about quidditich and classes, and after awhile I find myself leaning unconsciously on his shoulder and he takes that moment to put his arm around me and stroke my arm. If I were awake I would have pushed him away, but I was in a daze, still a bit confused and out of it, and let him hold me.

Later that night, the two of them left, and I was alone in the common room with Harry. Well, not alone. He was still there. Still yelling in my heart, in my soul. I was never alone anymore. And I liked that. Being alone was scary, and lonely.

Harry leaned down and kissed my cheek and I jumped up, heart racing. He smiled at me and grabbed my wrist. I winced and pulled away, bringing my wrist to me side and holding it. It was still sore. He raised an eyebrow and took my wrist from me again. I bit my lip as he pulled back my sleeve, watching as the new scab formed. I could see the look of confusion in his emerald eyes. I turned away from him, not wanting to have his eyes on my, I could get lost in his eyes. I just feel back into his arms and sobbed.

'Ginny... what's wrong?'

I just sobbed harder into his shoulder and held onto him. I cracked. I couldn't keep pushing people away. I couldn't keep hurting myself, on the inside and out.

I heard him again. 

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I want to be alone. Go away. GO AWAY!

And to my amazement, he left. I didn't feel his overbearing power, or painful remarks. I didn't need his spirit around to keep me from the loneliness I felt... but even more amazing, was when he spoke to me. Didn't yell... but more of a goodbye..

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Remember Ginny.. you are your own worst enemy...

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Author Notes: So, how was it? Please review, tell me what ya think, if its stupid, how it turned out. The ending could use some work, I know :P Thanks, and make sure to read my other junk!


	2. Something more

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Own Worst Enemy

By: Amanda Lupin

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Summary: She hurts. He hurts her. She hurts Harry. Harry loves her. He loves her. She hates herself.

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Disclaimer: I don't own it. The only thing I own is my computer. No wait... I don't even own it. I'm pretty sure I own the plot, but it might be from other stories, so feel free to steal my plot. I've got no problem with it 

Wake me up. 

Wake me up.

Save me from the nothing I've become.

I lay in bed, not wanting to move. I guess I think if I don't get up, I won't have to confront anything. I hate confrontation. With friends. Teachers. My Mum. Me. I guess I've always been that way. Always willing to please others.

I open my eyes slowly and look out my curtains. The sun is just barely peeking into the room, and I can tell the others are still sleeping. It must be early morning. Around 6, and since it's a weekend, they won't be up for hours. I move my wrist up to eye level and pull down my PJs and stare at the new scab. It doesn't hurt anymore, but I'm sure someone will notice. Harry did.

Harry held me for a while after I had calmed down. I don't know how long we were down there. He seemed happy that I'd finally let him near me, let him touch me. I was so zoned out and scared I didn't care. I just felt warm and save in his arms. When it got later, I stood up. He raised an eyebrow and followed me to where the stairs split.

'Your gonna be okay... right Ginny?' I nodded and he moved forward.

'You sure?' I nodded again, and once again he moved forward. He placed his hand on my cheek and slowly moved his mouth towards mine. 'I'm glad,' he whispered right before kissing me.

It was a soft, slow kiss. It didn't last very long, but it felt okay. I wasn't sure if I was doing it right, seeing as how I hadn't kissed anyone in my 6 years at Hogwarts. I could tell Harry had done it before, and wanted to get a bit further, but I pulled away and gave him a short smile and walked slowly up to my dorm. I heard him race up to his dorm and could tell he was going to tell the boys what had happened. I prayed to God Ron was already asleep. And he would leave some parts out...

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I stand up and change into my robes. They're plain black with a little bit of detailing around the bottom. Most of the other girls in my dorm have beautiful ones, with flowers, or lions on the sleeves. But my family was never able to afford these things, and I, of course, had never asked for anything better. 

I walked into the common room and looked around. There was a 5th year sitting at a table, studying, and a 2nd year sitting by the fire, fast asleep. I laughed and walked to the portrait and crawled through. As I walked through the halls I thought. About Harry. About myself. The voices last night had scared me... I always assumed it was... Voldemort. But now it seems as though I'm the one whose controlling the voices, that I'm the one yelling at myself to do better, to do what I'm told. I never seem to measure up to what the voice wants...

At that thought I reach the Great Hall, which is bustling with students, as always. I sigh and sit down next to Harry. He smiles and takes my hand underneath the table. Ron and Hermoine are in a very animated and loud 'conversation', as they like to call them. I grab a piece of toast and listen in. 

After a little while in the Great Hall, Harry sighs and then winks at me. I give him a confused look as he explains to Ron he wants to get some work done and is going to go to the library for the day. Ron laughs out loud for a long moment and then says, 'Going to meet a girl again?' laughs so more. Harry just shakes his head laughing and walks out.

I sit there for a moment, not knowing what to do. Then I stand up and run.

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Author Notes: Yeah, I know its really short, but I wasn't sure how I should make the story go. What do you gusy think? Any ideas or things you would like to see? I would love it! :P

Thanks to my 2 reviews! I know that's not much, but what the hey, can you guys make it 5?

Lyrics from Evanescence, not sure if they're exact or anything :P


	3. Fighting Battles

**Own Worst Enemy**

By: Amanda Lupin

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Summary: She hurts. He hurts her. She hurts Harry. Harry loves her. He loves her. She hates herself.

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Disclaimer: I don't own it. The only thing I own is my computer. No wait... I don't even own it. I'm pretty sure I own the plot, but it might be from other stories, so feel free to steal my plot. I've got no problem with it 

I run out into the crowded hallway, and dodge between and group of 2nd years. Then I lean against the wall and let myself think. Was he really asking me to join? Maybe I should just stay here, out of his way. Anyway, he's a guy. He'll just want to snog me, and I'm really not in the mood.

I sigh and step back out into the hallway. Bad timing. As I start back down, I run into who else, Draco Malfloy. 

'Aww, another one of the Weasley's, eh?' He gives me a cruel smile and his hand goes to up to stroke my hair. I shudder underneath his touch. 'I've noticed your not as... annoying as your brothers,' he laughs an evil laugh. I wince as you lowers his hand to my neck and begins to massage my shoulders.

'We should get together sometime. And by get together I mean...' He was cut off as Harry roughly pulled Draco away and rammed his fist into Draco's left eye. Hard. He fell to the ground, clutching at it.

'You bastard!' Draco yelled, trying to stand up graceful, still holding his eye, but he looked about ready to retaliate.

'Stay away from Ginny, or next time you might not come off so well,' Harry ordered, glaring at him.

'Aww, does Potter have himself a girlfriend? Well, Potter, I've got some news for you. Draco Malfloy does not get denied,' and at that Draco turned on his heels and headed off toward the dungeons.

'Are you all right Ginny? Did he hurt you? Did he... touch you?' He pulled me into a tight hug. I pulled away roughly and slapped him.

'How DARE you do that. What, think I can't fight my own battles? Well I've got news for you Mr. Harry James Potter, I can handle myself JUST fine!' and with that I turned and headed towards my first class, and could here the small crowd that had formed start clapping.

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Author Notes: Wow! 6 reviews :) I'm so proud of myself. Well thanks, especially those who give me some hints and help.

Now you've got a choice. Do you want this to turn into a Harry/Ginny, OR it could become a Draco/Ginny. It doesn't really matter to me, but right now it'll stay in the Harry/Ginny section :P

Can we make it 15 reviews? W00t.


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